At our Synod Assembly in April, Bishop Gronberg and I announced that there would be some transition happening on the Synod staff this year. I was working on plans to leave this position as Bishop’s Associate that I have served in for almost eight years now.  You may have also seen the posting for my position in a recent email.  Some people assumed I would be retiring.  Short answer to that is no, I am not in a place in my life or my ministry to retire yet.  Longer answer is much more involved.

When I began this call, I knew very little about Texas but I was sure excited to learn more.  In these years, I accomplished that as I visited almost all of our congregations in the Synod.  I have only missed two congregations, despite my best efforts to get to all of you for visits.  The warmth with which I have been welcomed has been wonderful.  The relationships I have developed have been so rewarding and have enriched my life deeply.  When Bishop Gronberg was re-elected two years ago and chose to keep me on staff with him, I envisioned staying in this call until retirement called.  But life happens, and with that comes changes we don’t anticipate.

In December, my sister was diagnosed with ALS after many months of symptoms.  That was something that none of us ever anticipate happening to someone we love.  It sent our whole family into a tailspin.  My sister and I have always been close, as we are the two youngest of six kids.  I like to refer to us at the “oops” part of the family as we came along so many years after the first four of our siblings.  Because of that, we have always been companions in this life journey.  Her two sons have been like my kids in many ways. Kaye’s first husband died suddenly about 12 years ago when my nephews were in their 20’s.  Now they are in their 30’s and facing this difficult diagnosis and reality for their mother.  Thankfully, my sister found another love of her life and remarried seven years ago.  My brother-in-law is amazing and supportive for her in this time too, but I expect he will need support with time too. Going back to Wisconsin for visits once or twice a year just doesn’t seem like enough when facing ALS.  A year can be like a lifetime as the disease progresses. There is no cure for ALS. It doesn’t get better. So time missed is just time lost.

All of this caused me to do a lot of evaluating of my life priorities. I realized that I have been missing out on too much.  In the time I have lived here, one of my brothers and one of my nephews have died.  My oldest brother has been having tremendous health struggles as well. There have been weddings and a new great-nephew who barely knows me now as he is almost 3 years old.  It’s time for me to move back to Wisconsin, even though I STILL hate winter.  But as I told my sister, I love her more than I hate winter. So it is time for my Texas adventure to come to a close, even though it wasn’t part of my plan.

Needless to say, this decision has come with a whole gamut of mixed emotions.  While I am excited about new beginnings and time with family again, saying goodbye always stinks, especially with the depth of the relationships I have here. I will truly miss working with our candidates for ministry, with first call pastors, and with congregational transitions and challenges. This can be such hard work, but such GOOD work that I have loved. There are so many of you who have touched my heart and my life, and you will always be an important part of my story.  You have taught me so much about ministry, about life, and about Texas. I find that I now speak Texan (I have even caught myself saying “might could” a few times mixed in with the frequent “y’all.”) And I can proudly say I can often tell the difference between the west Texas drawl and the east Texas twang – yes, there is a difference that I have noticed. The words of the song “Deep in the heart of Texas” ring true for me now as I have come to love this place. (Y’all are welcome for the ear worm now…)  You will all always be deeply embedded in my heart and for that I am grateful.

So what’s next?  Well, I have also come to realize that I do still feel called to ministry and to use my gifts now in a congregational setting again.  Over the last few months, I have been in conversations and call processes, and am happy to say the Holy Spirit is finally giving me some clarity.  My name is being presented to a congregation for a vote in June.  I will be going back to meet the congregation and fully anticipate a positive vote on June 23.  Your prayers will be deeply appreciated in these coming steps and transitions.  While I don’t know exact dates yet, I will hopefully be preparing for a move in late July to begin my new call in August so I can hit the ground running with fall programming.  When it’s all set, we’ll let you know where I will be going and when!